The Next Chapter - Page 2010

I decided to start another blog to document my journey into the next chapter of my life.  A way for me to my express my feelings as I face life as a widow. My personal journey as I struggle to deal with this profound sadness and wonder what God has planned for me.

My new blog is called - "The Next Chapter - Page 2010".  Although this will not be a genealogy blog I invite you to walk with me as I discover what my new chapter will bring. 
My first post, "The Day of Loss", describes the events of the day I lost my husband.
http://terri-thenextchapterpage2010.blogspot.com/

Once Again - Christmas Eve

Once again Christmas Eve has arrived. When I woke this morning the grass was blanketed with snow, the sun was just rising and its' rays were making the snow sparkle. All my trees had a layer of fresh snow on their branches and to me, it looked as I imagine a fairy tale land would be. My mind drifted back in time to the days when Christmas was magical. Trying to be especially good so that Santa would come. Years ago, we lived in Massachusetts and every Christmas we would go to (what seemed to be huge to me) a shopping center called Peabodys. Oh my, the window displays were really something to see with all the glitter and moving figures, to a child of 5 it was amazing.

Christmas Eve we would go to Church where us children would participate in a little pageant, sharing the story of Jesus' birth. When we came home my brothers and I would lay under the tree and just gaze up at all the colored lights and ornaments. Funny how these are the things I remember and not the gifts. Oh yes, it was exciting to open the packages and see what surprises were inside, somehow forgetting what was on the list, and being happy for what was inside. Now, I realize it was not the gifts that made Christmas so special it was the time we shared and the reason we celebrate this day.

This Christmas will be different than those in the past as a touch of sadness seems to fill my heart. But, I do laugh at remembering how my husband would wrap his gift to me in butchers paper. And how he would draw a stick figure man with long arms stretched out to show how much he loved me, and of course it always had a stick-on bow. Funny, I don't remember the gifts that were inside, I only recall how they were all wrapped in love and always made me laugh.

So, this Christmas I will seek out the joy of watching our grandchildren experience the magic, and savor the day with all my loved ones, who are so important to
me.

For we never know what life will hold, we must treasure each moment as if it were our last. Keep your heart open and fill it with love. Shed a few tears, but, remember to laugh.
Hold on tight to those you love. And remember the hope that Jesus brought on this night, and the promise he made, that those who believe in Him will have everlasting life.

Merry Christmas to all!

Thank You Vickie

My friend, Vickie Everhart of Be Not Forgotten, made this beautiful collage for me for Christmas. It's just wonderful and holds special meaning for me. If you haven't visited Vickie's blog - I recommend that you do. Vickie makes gorgeous Victorian collages incorporating photographs and layouts that are outstanding. I always look forward to reading her blog post and can't wait to see her next layout designs. Thank you Vickie - this was so thoughtful of you!

Please visit Vickie's blog and read the poem that she included with the collage at http://benotforgot-quotes.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-shall-not-wish-you-old-merry.html

Terri

To My Geneablogger Family - Thank You

One year ago, on December 19, 2008, I placed my first blog post on Blogger. I started it on a whim, a way to share information about my genealogy research with family. It seemed to be a great medium to track my research and express my thoughts. One day when I logged onto my blog, I noticed someone had left a comment about my first post and had become a “Follower”. That person was Becky Jamison of Grace and Glory. Of course I was pleased to think someone would be interested in what I might write. I decided to visit Becky's blog and also other blogger's sites that she was following. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine there were so many Geneabloggers. I became intrigued with all these people who shared my love and passion for family history. I began a regular routine of reading about their triumphs, and sometimes frustration, in their own research. I devoured the information provided on sites like, Randy Seavers' – Genea-Musings, Thomas MacEntee's – GeneaBloggers and so many others. Research tips and advise that led me to many conquests in my own search.

The one thing I did not expect when I first began my blog was the wonderful people I would encounter along the way. Geneabloggers who encouraged me as I wrote my family history book, “Searching”, and applauded when I completed it. Geneabloggers who cheered when I finally found my great grandfather who disappeared 108 years ago. But, most of all Geneabloggers who have given me such beautiful and thoughtful words as I grieve for my husband. Geneabloggers who understand the pain my heart is going through and are praying for me. Never, did I imagine when I started this that I would become a part of a “special family” of people across the country and the world. So, to my Geneablogger Family, thank you for all that you have given me through your comments. What a blessing you are to me - my “special family". My heartfelt thank you to you all!

Love Ya
Your Sister in Genealogy
Terri

It's All a Memory Now....

I've written a few times about being a genea-holic and all that it entails. The constant desire to search for the elusive ancestor and being driven almost to distraction in the search. And when that document, photo or history is found doing the happy dance of joy at being successful in solving the mystery. I've also written about how the information can prove to be bitter sweet when you learn the person you are searching for is not the man you held in high esteem.

I've been fascinated by family history for what now seems most of my life. I've been amazed at their accomplishments and felt their disappointment when life became a struggle. I think of my own grandparents and the things they did to survive and the changes they witnessed in their lives. To realize that in their lifetime they went from depending on horses and kerosene lamps to driving a Buick and learning to use a microwave, it makes me realize how special and incredible their generation was.

Over the last few weeks I've pondered over how those of us living today will be perceived by future generations. Will future genea-holics do the happy dance of joy when they track us down? You may wonder why my thoughts have gone in this direction. I've always been excited to receive copies of documents that in some case have taken years to find, but a few days ago I received a document I hoped to never see. It had all the usual information that through the years I've come to expect, but, this time the information was all to familiar and reality set in. Through my tears I read the name of the deceased, as I continued reading and found my own name as the surviving spouse I fell to my knees. All these years of collecting family death certificates, and being thrilled to obtain them, suddenly I realized the pain and heartache that each represented for their loved ones so long ago. Today I look at my collection in new light and say a little prayer for those who have gone before, because now I realize what these papers truly meant. So from now on with my dance of joy, I will take time to remember what the little piece of paper meant in the lives of my ancestors.

So in tribute to my husband who now rests in the arms of God, I want to tell you of a man who was my companion, my love, my partner but most of all my best friend. He listened to my stories of family long gone for hours and never yawned. When he couldn't sleep he would ask for what we called “mu-mu stories”, and I would tell him about how our ancestors crossed the sea and soon I would hear him snore. Now I wonder who will listen to my stories and share the joy with me as I solve the mystery of the past.

He was not a wealthy man in material things, but rather gathered his riches by sharing his love and friendship with everyone he met. In his world there were no strangers just people he hadn't met, being shy was not a word he knew or understood. He could be a jokester and got a kick out of pulling my leg, you would think after 24 years I would be wise to his ways, but somehow I'd always fall for his gags, I only wish this was one of them and I could have him back.

He grew up in the grocery business and worked as a meat cutter until he retired. He received so many customer service awards I could paper a wall with them. His customers loved him and he them. I heard a story from his boss of how he could make his customers laugh and smile by turning his hat to the side, remove his teeth and with a big toothless grin say, “Can I help you ma'am?”. He said they would laugh til they cried. His antics were many, but I loved how they would make me smile, I'd tell him he was weird and he would just grin a toothless smile.

His life was not without pain and struggle and many things could torture his mind, but somehow together we could make life work, forever lifting each other up. Like all of us he had his faults too, but his beautiful and gentle heart made those faults seem unimportant and irrelevant. He never faltered in his devotion to his family and always lent a hand. His love and willingness to help my parents was more than I could ask. I'd always thank him for the things he did for them and he would just say - “I love helping Mom and Dad!” His love for his daughters and grandchildren was endless and completely unconditional. I knew every day of our married life that his love for me grew stronger as mine did for him. Those 24 years seem so short now and I wonder how they could have gone by so fast. But, as I reflect on all the things we did and shared, I realize how rich and full of love every moment was. Even when we disagreed or argued over what seems so unimportant now, it always ended with, “You're wrong, but I love you any how.”

For now, his beat up old cowboy hat, that he wore everywhere, hangs on a dining room chair reminding me that his love remains, forever in my heart and in this place.

So now I begin a new chapter in my life and wonder what it will be like – being just “me” and not a part of “us”. I know that God has a plan and in that I put my trust.

Our 24 year journey through the good times and the bad came to an end on November 29, 2009 at 9:21 pm, Darrell was swept up into the arms of God our Father in Heaven, his journey on earth ended, but his eternal life was born. In my mind's eye I can see his twinkling blue eyes sparkling and shining as he entered through the gates of heaven into the arms of Jesus our Savior. I know that he must be in awe at the wonders he is being shown. I also know that a special place was prepared for him - because Jesus told us he would. I know that God has wiped all the tears from his eyes and wrapped him in His arms and surrounded him with love. Just as we are celebrating his life with us. I know that Darrell is with those who have been waiting for him and that they are celebrating with the angels as he has returned to our Father in Heaven.

For you sweetheart.

...Inspiration - Letter from 1814 Conclusion

Oltman Behrend Onnen, remains an unsolved mystery in my quest for family history. I do know that he was born about 1738 near Uttel, Germany, that he married Hille Catherine Badberg and that they had a least one child, Gralf Onnen who was born in 1819. At this point only his letter remains. The letter must have been a very special memento of my great grandmothers. My Father tells me that she kept the letter hidden in a small hole near the kitchen stove pipe. When she died, my grandfather retrieved the letter and it was later given to my Uncle, for safe keeping and now his sons are left to safeguard the only remaining record of this young man, who once fought against Napoleon.

And now the conclusion of the letter:

Early July 2, 1814

“The Frenchmen had blown up the bridges so we had to find some other way. The artillery fire lasted until late that night and on the 4rd the capitulated and all fighting stopped. The 4th, 5th and the 6th we stayed in our camp and on the 7th we had church services to thank the Lord that he so tenderly protected us. The theme of the sermon was: What would it prosper the people if they conquer the world and lost their soul. We sang the hymn: Praise and Thanks to God.

“We camped on the outskirts of Paris until the 10th, then we marched through Paris and beyond it, we ran into a little fort. We surrounded it from the 11th to the 15th when they flew the white flag and surrendered.

“That evening we remained in a little village between Paris and the fort. All the people had left their homes and we took quarters in them. We got plenty to eat and we lived as well as at home in Ostfriesland. Some say we are going to march toward the border of Holland or even to Ostfriesland, may God grant this to be so.

“Well, this is all I know to report now, and you dear parents, brothers and sisters and all friends and acquaintances, stay well.

“May the Lord protect you. I remain with high esteem, Your obedient son until death.
Oltman Behrend Onnen”

For most of us geneaholics it only takes that one look into the past to spark an interest in genealogy and the history of our families. This letter certainly provided that spark for me and continues to fuel the flame.

...Inspiration Continued – 1814 Letter Continued

General William Frederich Bülow
(This image is in the Public Domain
Because its copyright has expired)

“We bombarded Napoleon's Coach”

Oltman Behrend Onnen's letter to his family in Ostfriesland, Germany appears to have been written over the course of two months, beginning June 15th and ending around July 10, 1814. This is the second part of Oltman's letter and begins on June 19, 1814, somewhere near Beaumont, Belgium.

June 19, 1814
“On the 19th we again pursued the Frenchmen, at one point we bombarded Napoleon's coach which he deserted shortly before. We found a number of treasures in it. We marched the entire day until 11 o'clock and slept again under the sky being pretty hungry. The Frenchmen had everything pretty well consumed. On we went the next day the 20th all day and on through the night. The name of the town where we finally camped was, I think, Beaumont.

“On the 21st we surround the fortified city of Vienne, there was a strong resistance, but a lucky shot from our artillery hit the French powder magazine so that the fortification blew up and we had the fort in our hands.

“On the 22nd we marched on again until late at night. The 23rd was a day of rest, but there was not much rest since it rained all day, so that we were wet to the skin. At 10 in the morning of the 24th we went on and the next days to the 26th, we hardly encountered any enemies. The 27th we got to Compiegne here is where Bonaparte had his castle. When we got to this town the Frenchmen tried hard to throw us back, but they were unsuccessful. On the 28th we got to a town, where the enemy had hidden like snipers, but we pushed them on and our cavalry chased on and captured many of them, also two cannons which were drawn by mules.

“On the 29th we were only three hours away from Paris. On the 30th we rested until 10 o'clock that night, but then followed a 36 hour march to and around Paris. It was so hot we could hardly stand it.

“Early, July 2nd and again we were called to the weapons, and our general told us, “Boys, you had a bad day yesterday, but today we have to be especially brave. We have to take Paris or we are lost.”

Compiegne Castle

Join me tomorrow for the conclusion of Oltman Behrend Onnen's letter of 1814.

Where does your inspiration come from? Continued

“During the night we
slept among the dead”

Like a window suddenly blown open during a storm, these words written by my great great great grandfather 195 years ago, drew me in to the world of genealogy. My Uncle had discovered the letter in some papers that my Grandparents had. Of course, not being able to read German made the letter with a date of 1814 intriguing to say the least. A cousin was able to transcribe the letter. Behrend Oltman Onnen's letter revealed the horrors and sadness of the war with Napoleon's French Army. Behrend was 21 years old when he wrote this letter to his family in Ostfriesland, Germany.

1814
“Dear Parents, Brothers and Sisters,

"Now I want to tell you about our march from Wangrenie to Paris. On the morning of June 15th at seven o'clock we marched against the Frenchmen and there was artillery fire all around us and we could notice the Frenchmen coming closer to us and toward evening we were very close together, we had our quarters under the stars that night. This was the first day.”

“On the 16th of June in the morning at 5 o'clock we marched beyond the village where the battle took place, in the afternoon at 2 o'clock we marched to the village and got into fighting immediately and came so close to each other that we fought them by hand and took them prisoners.

“Bullets flew like hail from heaven and a person should think it impossible that anybody would survive, but the hands of the Almighty can protect and save you. Toward evening we were really in a mess, we were of the opinion reinforcements would move up, but instead they were Frenchmen. It was impossible to retreat, but fortunately we got out of the squeeze. We dispersed in groups of six and seven men. On the 17th we got together again and there were not too many missing.

“On the 18th the shooting began again and in the afternoon at three o'clock we got orders to march on, There was heavy artillery fire and it was toward evening when we reached the real battlefield.

“Here General Bülow got behind Bonaparte's army and soon all shooting stopped. We marched over battlefields which were a terrible sight, left and right there were wounded screaming and shouting, and dead ones not by the tens or twenties but by the hundreds and thousands.

“During the night we slept among the dead ones and I wondered whose heart was not touched, hearing and seeing such lamenting and sorrow. I have witnessed it and seen it with my own eyes.” (Letter to be continued in my next post.)

I wonder how many years it took him to forget the horrible things he witnessed or if he ever did.
Join me again when the letter continues on to the events of June 19, 1814.

Where does your inspiration come from?

I've often wondered what in the world would possess someone to want to dangle off the side of a rock cliff, relying solely on the strength of a skinny rope attached to hooks that have been pounded into solid rock to keep them safe. Just looking at photographs taken from those climbs makes my stomach do flip flops. What's their inspiration? Some say it's the adrenaline rush they get during the climb. For some it's conquering the mountain, as if they were slaying a dragon. For some it's just proving that they can do it.

I'm not “into” all that danger, maybe it's because I can remember how bad it hurt just falling off my bike as a kid, but I can relate to the adrenaline rush. Back in the '70's, when I was still young and dumb, I climbed one of the Flatiron Mountains behind our house in Boulder. The only reason I did it was to prove to my brothers, who had climbed it many times, that their little sister could do it too! These days I get woozy just climbing my step-stool!

We are all inspired by different people and things throughout our life time. My neighbor and I have been carrying on what we like to call "our midnight chats". Lately those conversations have been about the people that have inspired us to be so passionate about family history.

Was there one person or some artifact that inspired you to become passionate about genealogy?
There was for me. Come back and visit me when I share my first inspiration into the world of my ancestors.............

The Ties That Bind - Nominated in Family Tree Magazine for Top 40 Genealogy Blogs

Family Tree Magazine is running a contest for the top 40 Best Genealogy Blogs in 10 different categories. There are over 130 bloggers competing in the competition and they are all outstanding and well worth reading. Footnote Maven has done a wonderful job outlining all

the blogs and categories in the competition on her blog, so if you aren't familiar with all the nominated blogs, you'll find a very helpful list of all the nominees and links to them at footnoteMaven's blog.

I am honored to be one of the nominees in the "Personal/Family" category 10. To be nominated with so many fabulous writers is more than I could have ever hoped for when I began my blog last December! Thank you to all my readers for this honor - I'm on cloud nine!

You can vote as often as you like here and you'll notice that you can vote for more than one choice in eight out of the ten categories.